Did I ever really mean something to you ?

I thought I was dreaming when you said you loved me.

But now I see this was the start of nothing.

We felt like we were kids back then.

But we’ll never be those kids again.

Is it okay to hate you now ?

I wish I could but I don’t know how.

We both know that deep down the feelings still good.

But we don’t go deep down.

We stay at the surface where the nothing begins.

I’m sorry to say but we can never be just friends.

Still, thank you for the pseudo love you showed me.

We both know that deep down it wasn’t real my dear.

And it’s all downhill from here.

What you showed me wasn’t love.

We can’t go deep down, gotta stay above.


I see


This pain

I gain


To eradicate


I hear


Asking if

I’m sane

I’m woke

I tell them



Unreciprocated Love

There’s no pain greater than seeing the one you love happy with someone else
It’s nothing less than forty-four stabs in the heart while sitting in an electric chair at the bottom of the ocean all alone after tumbling off cloud 9. It’s a bad religion to be in love with someone who doesn’t love you.


Memories flash from my past

Nostalgia. Why couldn’t the laughter last

My heart is beating fast

Longing to go back. Anxiety attack

They’ll never understand

So compassion they lack

Stumbled. Trying to get back on track

No one cares about the facts

So they gossip. Comments with no tact

They’re murdering me slowly

Not even softly. Isolated

I’d much rather stay sedated

Better than dwelling on the things I’ve hated

I don’t wanna be heartless of numb

But I’m already so jaded

Happiness faded

Drowning slowly in the puddle of hell I’ve created


I’m important

I’m the sugar in your coffee

Death sweet

Ctrl, alt; I’m your delete

I am the screen for your sun on the hottest summers day

April showers; I am your flowers in May

I am important

I am your calm after a long days work

Mid-afternoon; I am your second wind perk

Guitar, piano; I am your bass

Finish line, conquer all; I am the race

So important


I am hollow

Life’s a pill too hard to swallow

I’m sitting here morose

Palms sweaty and breathing shallow

My minds in Cabo

They tell me life’s a beach

But I can’t see the sand or waves

Beyond these cold, hard streets

A box of chocolate

I picked one then I popped it

The path it led me down is rough

I’ve come to far to stop it

Word to Forest

At least he had Jenny

Some of have no friends, no fam

And not a fucking penny

Okay, well I exaggerate

Please excuse me, magistrate

I did just have a little help

But intentions are up for debate

I couldn’t take it

Vulnerable and naked

I know, I’ve heard a million times

Your life is what you make it

But I beg to differ

This here, I’d never choose

I guess I chose to roll the dice

Instead of a comfy lose

I mean, at least I’m trying

Like can I can get some credit ?

Had to take me fears

Tossed em around

And then I had to dead

Took a leap

And now I’m full of dreams

Whoever knew the end of this

Would boost my self-esteem

So still I rise

No more sorrow in my eyes

This testament is living proof

Success comes to whoever tries

You can do it

Reckoning Day


It started out a familiar Friday. I woke up just the same as the last fortnight of fortnights. 6 am I get out of bed. 6:15 I work out. 6:45 I shower. 7 I eat breakfast and watch the news. 7:30 I walk to the garage and hop in my car. By exactly 8 am I’m at my desk at work. This is where everything changed and Friday ceased being so familiar. Anger has been welling within me for long enough. Today, there will be a reckoning.


We were lying there in the grass in silence watching the clouds go by. Imagining prominent figures arranged with dust and droplets of water. Then in a split second, as if all the planets suddenly aligned, a cloud drifted across the sun revealing its rays of fire. Then I looked at you in the brightness with my pupils completely dilated and  I saw you. For the first time, I really saw you. The true you, in the purest form. My heart stopped and all sound faded away and I basked in your glory for only half a second and just as fast, the planets spread out and the breeze swept a cloud back over the sun and I closed my eyes to hold on to this feeling just a second longer. And it was then. At that last moment, that I knew that I was in love with you.


It’s cold where the fires burning

But I don’t know how to let it go

The beams from my heart

Are causing hella melted snow

The x-rays from my eyes

Are piercing through your core

I can’t believe you just said

You don’t love me anymore

A kiss upon your forehead, night

A candles fickle flame

If you were wrong and I was right

Why do I still feel shame ?

Purple was our colored love

When we were red and blue

Now that you and her are green

What am I to do ?

Black mascara, lips so pink

Eyes brown, soul is black

I never saw the bullseye

Sitting cooly on my back

You took your aim and shot your shot

You swore you wouldn’t miss

I don’t know how we once were perfect

But it’s come to this


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