Blue Eyes

Hello. Goodbye.

I saw you smiling in a dream
You were more than surviving
Just as happy as you seemed
Your blue eyes glistened
You were playing guitar
I just sat there and listened
The lyrics spoke to my heart
I woke up to sadness and despair
I couldn’t take it any longer
So I chose to sleep forever there
Hoping in my dreams we’d sing forever, smiling without a care

I can’t

Where darkness lies
Between my mind and the deep blue skies
Between the smiles and the laughter
The tears that come after
When I’m alone
At 3am scrolling through my phone
Needing someone to save me from destruction
Can’t think of an introduction
So I convince myself I’m okay
It’s not that serious, I’m just being dramatic, It’s not that important
False alarm
So I disarm
Mechanically go about my days
Only a shell remaining like my soul has parted ways
Each week just a haze
I’m okay, I’m okay
I’m not okay. I wasn’t okay. Will I ever be ?
Digging deep in my happiest memories
Was I really happy ?
Or was I again just pretending
An actress in this movie of life with a role that’s never ending
I’m alright, I’m okay
Except when I’m alone
Forced to replay in my mind the things I’ve tried to forget
I can’t deal on my own
I can’t deal on my own
I can’t deal on my own

Hey Girl Hey

I’m just a girl
I love the wind blowing through my hair
The color pink
Songs that make me think
A cute boy that gives a wink

I’m just a girl
I love to shop
I love warm weather where I can go outside to skip, jump and hop
I hate to sweep but I love to mop

I’m just a girl
I hate wearing pants
Give me a beat that’ll make me dance
I pretend my accent is from France
I’ll prove myself if you give me a chance

I’m just a girl
I have a sister and brother
I’m full of dreams and wishes
Like for people to just love one another
I have a daughter, I am a mother

I’m a driver, a high fiver
A cook, your secret book
A lawyer, a movie spoiler
A friend til the end
A counselor, tell me your problems. Ill mend
Give me a rule, I might bend

I’m rebel

I stay 1000 feet from the devil

I watch my icons and try to get on their level

I like to sit on the shore and pick out shells and pebbles

I’m just a girl.

Thump

Should I jump ?
Question of the day.
Because I’d do almost anything not to feel this way.
Nothing can ever fill this void.
Can’t take part in what I once enjoyed.
Seems like everything keeps me annoyed.
Every care I had…destroyed.
Dead on the inside and done crying out.
Because when I need help, I only get flout.
Every step forward is met with a clout.
Each subliminal gesture makes my heart strout.
Things used to be great, sorry it ends this way.
So to answer the question of the day.
….thump!

Mind Vs Pen

Am I just a martyr for the pen

Is that why I allow the dark cloud to constantly pull me back in

These tiny, colorful pills do give me a rush

But I feel my creativity, they flush

The voices in my head, they hush

But the silence is almost sickening

I can feel the air thickening

It’s unsettling

I’m forgetting

The sensation of depressions touch

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