Bad Trip

I was walking down the alley and looking for a loo

When I tripped over my shadow and stumbled upon you

I thought you were an angel in that white and yellow hue

When they said you were a devil I just said it wasn’t true

Little white powder that can take away the blues

What’s the catch ? To sell my soul ? That’s all I have to do ?

Went to do a bump but instead, I did two

Didn’t know the difference when out the window I flew

Landed on the moon where the cows didn’t moo

Looking down on earth, like man, what a lovely view

Then the rain started falling and the storm was washing through

And I was sitting in this tree when suddenly it just grew

I was so high in the sky that the wind just barely blew

Went to bite a bird but alas I couldn’t chew

Figured I’ll just save it and later make a stew

Looked down at the ground and saw I lost a shoe

Reached so I could get it but fell and landed in the dew

Closed my eyes then ended up in a room white and blue

Cuddled in the blankets laying next to who ?

Maybe it was just a dream, maybe it was a few

Every time it happens I swear it’s brand new

And only when it’s over do I think I have a clue

Eventually I stopped, but I didn’t want to

Tres Noir

To kill or be killed

Self-harm or be healed

A whole life to rebuild

Once my secrets revealed

Once every letters unsealed

And I’m exposed in the field

Of battle

Chest burns, head murked

Death rattle

Can’t handle the back and forth in my mind

The tit for tattle

And I’m sorry mama

I didn’t mean to fucking hurt you

I know you did your best and you tried to teach me virtue

“Just do it already

Why’s your hand so unsteady ?

And your stomach upsetti ?

And your breath so damn heavy ?

I thought you couldn’t wait to be dead B!”

Sunrise, sunset

In her eyes, I bet

If she found me like that she would never forget

And I’d be gone but if ghosts are real

I’d be the biggest ghost of regret

I mean even now I hate to see her upset

My little curly brunette

Growin up without a mother

She’d feel abandoned without me

Because she already thinks her father doesn’t love her

She has no sister nor brother

I’d hate to haunt her and find her desperately searching for me

By jumping lover to lover

So as painful as it is

That’s why I have to recover

Real Life

I’m physically here but my minds gone

Tryna be strong but needin someone to lean on

I’m in so much pain, goin insane

Constantly lookin to deaden my brain

Worthless, hopeless and to my knees I fall

Suffocating behind this smile

I can’t see no light at all

All these warm bodies, all these hands

But no connections, no empathy and no real friends

All these men offerin a shoulder for my head

As if I can’t tell they just want me in their bed

All those besties who gave the forever vow

I just have one question

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YALL NOW?

Fumbling through life breaking everything I touch

Spastic and erratic, killing those I love much

Cocaine and mary jane, slit thighs for dry eyes

Hiding my deepest thoughts watching my soul die

I can’t ever escape the mess I made because the mess is me

That’s why I feel like I must fade just to set myself free

Adios

Goodbye stupid smiles. Leave me alone to cry. Goodbye stupid world, leave me alone to die. Goodbye stupid life, since you gave me no reasons why. Goodbye lovely daughter. Sorry for the tears in your eyes. It’s not your fault.

Unlove Me

I’m like a

Clawless cat

Climbing up a tree

Trying to

Hold on to love

And life

So…desperately

Patience is a

Virtue

But ain’t no

Virtue in me

I’d rather rot

Alone

In misery

Than to be

Loved

Half-heartedly

I wish you

Would’ve

Let me die

Instead of

Watered me

If you couldn’t

Nurture me

The way I

Need to be

Because the

Time it takes

For you to

Truly see

Oh, I’ll be

Dead alive

The soul sucked

Out of me

So let my

Body rot

Turn me in-

To a tree

With a wooden

Sign that

Says she

Simply

Couldn’t ‘be’

Lonely

Sorrow lives in this soul

Destined to loneliness 

Inevitably less than whole 

A sacrificial animal to all things 

Happiness not within my control

I’d rather disappear 

Than this reality be so

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